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Category Archives: Fitness

Zero to 100 MPH

Posted on January 9, 2013 by admin Posted in All, Fitness, Running, Training: Cycling 1 Comment

Since Ironman NYC I have been kind of in a perpetual ‘off season.’ I mean, I run and occasionally ride my bike on the trainer, but for the most part I have been on triathlon vacation. I was really enjoying it up until right after Christmas…

Something happened to me a few days ago. I think I was fed up with the month of December being a total schmooze fest, with holiday parties and corporate dinners. Whatever it was I totally set myself on fire 6 days ago.

I started off with a one hour trainer ride from hell, sweating my brains out.

Yoga with Abbe. My first time and it was really great!

Next, I ran 3 miles to my gym, did a hard weight and core workout and ran back 3 miles.

Ice skating? Sure why not. I love ice skating more than life itself after all. 1 hour, check.

A smooth 12 miles at 150 heart rate pace was a nice intro back into distance running.

Tonight? Speedwork of course. Where would we be if we couldn’t complain about speedwork? 4 miles at a 5:50 pace will feel horrible tomorrow, but the beer and guacamole I took down with Abbe, Maura and Kelly made it all the worth while.

Please don’t take this as me trying to brag, I am just really excited because I AM BACK!

Zero to 100 miles per hour in 6 days, wooooooooo!

 

 

The 3rd Annual Doughnut Run

Posted on January 4, 2013 by admin Posted in All, Fitness, Race Reports, Running Leave a comment

How do you end the year? Do you eat doughnuts? Oh, maybe you’re one of those people who like to run?

My crew combines the 2 into one harmonious blend of delicious exercise.

We met on the coldest day of the year thus far, it was a balmy 15 with wind chill. Abbe and I were the first to arrive and I suggested we huddle up next to the subway kiosk to gain shelter from the north wind. One by one our Runner Army friends arrived with cheer! The talk amongst the ranks was to avoid going over any bridges, and Brooklyn all together, and just run to the Doughnut Plant to eat. All eyes looked to Elyssa (this was her baby after all) and she said we would just run 4-5 miles around the west side, aiming for the Doughnut Plant.

Taking off due West, we encountered wind from every angle. As Neal said, “It’s the first mile that’s the hardest, as you need to warm up.” Heading north up the West Side path, the entire thing was a sheet of ice. None of us wanted to end our season before it began, so we bee-lined it east off the ice.

We eventually cut across Bleecker, down to Grand and finally to our fabulous finish at the Doughnut Plant.

I chose the Vanilla Bean Glazed which was awesome. We took over the space and had a great time before we all parted ways.

Congrats to a great 2012 everyone!

BD_Donut2012

Doughnut Run

RACE REPORT: 086 Ted Corbitt Classic 15K – 58:59

Posted on December 21, 2012 by admin Posted in All, Fitness, Race Reports, Running 2 Comments

TC125

I love a good 15K mainly because its such a freakish distance! I think I have run 3 in the last 4 years or something. They teeter right on the edge of, “Should I train for this” and “It’s only 5 more K than a 10K, I’ll just wing it.”

In order to prepare for the run, I went to watch the Brooklyn Nets play the Pistons the night before in the new Barclay’s Center. Todd, Frank, Cottom and I met up at Smoke Shop (no, it is not a weed store) for some BBQ and beers. The place rocks if you are into ribs.

We easily entered Barclay’s at 7:30 and made our way to our seats. Let’s take a moment to discus Jay’s (Z) new stadium. Jay, hats off! What a fine piece of design it is, with a street level entrance right into the heart of the arena. No climbing stairs for an hour like The Garden. They also have local food vendors like Fatty Cue, Habana Outpost, and Brooklyn Burger! I love this concept.

Why do people in Brooklyn seem more friendly than in Manhattan?

Since this is a race report I wont dwell too much more on the game, but know this… BK Nets won by 2 in double overtime at the buzzer!

So of course we had to celebrate.

RACE DAY

I woke up after my 5 hours of beer fueled sleep feeling pretty beat up. Normally, I can rally but I think I may have caught this flu that’s popping around since I had a sore throat.

I geared up, didn’t eat anything, and jogged off to the Start. Blue Corral was already mobbed, so I just walked in and decided to hang in the back of it, especially since I wasn’t feeling too peppy.

Where the front of the Red Corral met the back of the Blue is where I bumped into Kelly! Hi Kelly. We hung out for a bit goofin’ off before we had to get serious. We also saw Dani off to our left who gave a wave!

The gun went off and I started running, but not too fast as I was behind a large group of speedsters. As we rounded the corner and headed into Cat Hill I flanked the pack on the right and started progressing forward through them. I thought I was going to take it easy but my competitive side always gets the best of me. I wasn’t wearing my Garmin (my new thing and I love doing it) so I was just running by feel. I kinda felt like quitting. In fact, the first 5 miles of the race I thought of ways to quit. My chest hurt and I was so very tired, but I had committed to a race…

I was slamming down water at every aid station. I normally never do this but I was quite parched. Maybe it was the salty barbeque I ate the night before or the 5 million beers or I was getting the flu? Who knows? I don’t, I’m no doctor!

BD_TC125_1

Run, run, run, all I do is run.

By mile 4 we were in race formation, single file and were maybe cooking at a 6:30 pace. I would go on to play leap frog with a few tall fellows. The irony of it, was that I would overtake them on the downhills. You would think that with a larger gait and more body mass they would pick up speed? Maybe they were afraid of tumbling? I also saw Abbe (on her run) who yelled out to me!

BD_TC125_2

As I passed Mile 6 I had entered the point of no ‘giving up’ as this is right by my apartment at Engineer’s Gate. My original plan was to just run off the course instead of doing 2 loops and go home and go to sleep. I must have missed my exit.

Coming down the west side of the Park I actually started to feel good. My pace was steady and my form was doing fine, I wasn’t smashing my legs down or anything like that. As a I turned in to finish I had this feeling of ‘maybe I should do a few more miles’! Then, I thought about sleeping and how wonderful that would be.

BD_TC125_3

I ended up finishing in 58:59, a 24 second PR!

Sex/
Age
Bib Overall Place Age
Place
Finish
Time
Pace/
Mile
AG %
M34 125 65 22 58:59 6:20 70.4%

For the rest of the weekend I slept a lot and ended up wiping that wicked bug out of me. Maybe that ol’ 15K even helped!

BD_TC125_sick

 QUARANTINE!

 

15K Ted Corbitt

2nd Year on the Kompetitive Edge Team!

Posted on December 19, 2012 by admin Posted in All, Fitness, Race Reports Leave a comment

Never in 1,000 years did I ever think back in 2008 when I started running, that just a few years later I would have an athletic sponsor and be on one of the sickest triathlon teams in the country!

I’m proud to announce that Kompetitive Edge has renewed my contract and kept me on for the 2013 race year! Thanks guys, I won’t let you down!

1210-large

Kompetitive Edge

How to Kill a NYC Cockroach

Posted on November 26, 2012 by admin Posted in All, Fitness 4 Comments

It occurred to me tonight after giving my friend Claire strategic advice on how to kill a cockroach, that maybe this was information other people could use.

Some of you readers at home might be asking, “Baker, what makes you so qualified to give this kind of advice?” Great question!

For starters, I have lived here a long time and up until the last few years, in apartments shared by cockroaches. I’m not saying I lived in squalor, just seedy places. I was young.

That reminds me, one time in said apartments I woke up in the middle of the night because a cockroach was running across my back. Try that one on for size at 3AM.

I have also eaten cockroaches. And scorpons. And tarantulas. And Giant Ants. They fear me.

I studied Shaolin Kung Fu in my early twenties (before all this running and triathlon bs) so I’m stealthy.

Without further adieu, I will now introduce 2 techniques I have developed over the years.

The ‘Catch and Release’

This technique is a cleaner approach to the ‘Crime Scene’ technique I will discuss next. You will need 1 Pint Glass or something comparable that wont easily break and some junk mail, maybe a postcard.

While coming from behind, at a low stance, slowly creep to an arms length distance. Hold the glass in your weaker hand (a righty would hold it in their left hand) and get it face down just above the roach. If the roach senses you and moves forward hang back and try creeping in again after a few minutes. Once you have the glass positioned 1-2 feet above the cockroach, swiftly  bring it down capturing him! Do not let go as these guys can get under the rim of the glass. You may have cinched part of him under the glass, if so, slide the glass around until he is in the main chamber. Next, while applying downward pressure on the glass, slide the postcard under the cup. When it has sealed up the whole opening quickly flip both the glass and postcard over, keeping your hand on the postcard.

Congratulations, you have just captured the cockroach in a clean and humane fashion. What you do next is up to you. Open your window and drop him out or maybe flush him down the toilet (referred to as a ‘Burial at Sea’). Do not, however, put him in your trash can.

Throw out the pint glass.

SIDENOTE: This technique will not work if he is tucked under the baseboards or in a spot where you can’t get close. Please use the ‘Crime Scene’ method instead. 

The ‘Crime Scene’ 

A less humane approach, all you need is a blunt object. A rolled up magazine, a shoe, or a dish towel will work perfectly.

With the blunt object (I prefer a rolled up magazine) creep up from behind at a low level with arm already extended. Any quick movement will send this character off at crazytime speed. As soon as you are in striking distance slam that magazine down and repeat over and over. Odds are your first hit wasn’t direct, you need a kill strike so keep at it and remember, don’t look away!

It’s called the ‘Crime Scene’ for a reason. When you have succeeded there will be body parts everywhere. It’s disgusting. The magazine is now trash and so is your floor. To anyone watching you, you now have a crazed look in your eyes and a strange grin, they will not sign a lease with you next year.

Good luck and happy hunting!

 

 

Cockroach NYC

Running with my racers

Posted on November 18, 2012 by admin Posted in All, Fitness, Race Reports, Training: Running 2 Comments

My weekend plans changed quite a bit. As I sat drinking my coffee I realized that the Knickerbocker 60K was going down and I had some crew racing it. Hmmm… I think I’ll go run and support my peeps!

I ran the 60K in 2009. Here is a funny video of my finish.

As I set off in the opposite direction of all the Knickerbocker folks I flashed back to my race and how fun (and painful it was).

I saw friend Jim first, who seemed to be doing great! Then, I saw Kevin and Michael from Front Runners, looking strong. Next up, Sebastien, who was on a mission flying by. I said to myself, “I bet he is trying to win this thing.”

Cruising across the 103 Trans I saw Paddy coming my way. I flipped around and started running with him. He was on lap 5 of 9 and doing great. We chatted about running and just kinda enjoyed the day. As a runner, and being in Paddy’s shoes a few times, I tried to be the best pace setter a guy could be. First off, I tried to be the one doing most of the talking.  Second, I didn’t do TOO much talking and kept my pace as close to his as possible. I think I did a good job.

After 2 miles I bid him farewell and flipped back around. I saw Robin here and had a brief chat with her before she took off.

I did a full loop of the Park after this and saw Kevin, Michael, Paddy, Sebastien, and Jim a few more times. It was an amazing fall day for a run and I was kinda sad I didn’t sign up to race this one!

This post was really just a lead in for some ‘Big Ups’ and ‘Godspeeds,’ so here we go.

Sebastien! You won the damn thing! Congrats! We first met during the 2009 Knickerbocker  (pic of us hangin after below) and he came in 2nd then!

Paddy! Nice work on the PR brother!

Ed! You have your first marathon to run tomorrow in Philly, kick some ass!

Bethaney! Godspeed in Philly! Lookout for Ed!

Kelly! I sense a PR tomorrow in Philly.

Philly peeps, godspeed. Have a great race! I hear you have to have purple mohawks to get into this thing?!

Ironman Arizona peeps! Jen and Audra, please have mercy on your competitors. You two are a force to be reckoned with. Kill it and represent Kompetitive Edge in style. Arizona was my first Ironman so it has a special place in my heart.

Brooklyn Marathoners! Represent! Cooper Trooper you better own it!

It makes me terribly proud to know so many outstanding athletes.

 

 

 

Free Yourself from the Numbers

Posted on October 23, 2012 by admin Posted in All, Fitness, Running 4 Comments

With each passing day I gain the new friendship of a runner or triathlete. Since my first race, the NYC Mary in 2008, my life has taken quite a turn and I love it. I honestly don’t know what I did with my time before training for Ironmans and Marathons?

Look! I used to run in PANTS!

As my athletic endeavors became more challenging I found myself absorbed in the science behind it all. I hired a fantastic coach, learned about nutrition, heart rate, cadence, pace strategy and aerobic thresholds. This helped me tremendously! I saw improvements in my times and felt great about my training regimen. I had a sort of revelation the other day though, watching my twitter feed and everyone talking about their runs, bikes or swims and the mileage and pace associated with each one. (Funny how all my friends now are athletes says the kid who went to art school.) I got kind of turned off by the whole thing, the science of it all. Even I was guilty of over analyzing my training.

I had forgotten that at it’s core, the reason I run, or racing in triathlons, is that it’s fun. No matter what pace you hit, how even your heart rate was, or how many miles you put in, at the end you still feel great and probably really enjoyed yourself. You just forgot because you were too focused on numbers.

I set out to do a little test 2 weeks ago during the Grete’s Great Gallop Half Marathon. I was going to run naked (without my precious Garmin) and prove that it doesn’t matter. I raced my heart out and came within 5 seconds of a PR I set in 2010! I wasn’t looking at my wrist every 30 seconds, I was focused on how I felt and how fast my legs were turning over. It was very ‘freeing,’ similar to turning off your cell phone during a vacation.

The New York City Marathon is in 2 weeks and I am running that bad boy Garminless. I invite anyone interested to try it! Obviously first time marathon runners or people out to BQ might not apply, but everyone else, what have you got to lose? Who’s with me?!

Anyone want to make any Garminless predictions for my time? My course PR for New York is 3:00:48.

Garmin NYCM

RACE REPORT: 085 Grete’s Gallop 1/2 Mary – 1:20:53

Posted on October 20, 2012 by admin Posted in All, Fitness, Race Reports, Running 2 Comments

The mighty Grete Waitz (for those of you that don’t know) was a rock star of a woman, winning the NYC Mary 9 times. Whaaaaa?! She is also from Norway and based on a recent DNA test I found out I am primarily Norwegian. Perhaps a distant relative? One could only wish for a relative like her. I digress… this Half Mary is in her honor and takes place in The Central Park.

Since completing Ironman in August a huge weight was lifted in my training both physically and mentally. My ‘A’ races (Boston as well) for the season are over. I’m racing NYC Marathon, but I always do that simply because it’s so much fun! Therefore, I’m not stressin’.

That brings us up to speed on our discussion on Grete’s Gallop. To race, or just run, THAT is the question. Abbe told me to race it and seeing how the Mary is 3 weeks out thats more than enough time to recover for it. Also, I secretly can never just ‘run’ a race no matter what I tell myself beforehand.

Now I was nervous. I started thinking about my latest Marathon PR and how I achieved it. Perhaps I could use that same strategy? This strategy (used in the Kentucky Derby Marathon) was simply to throw all pacing rules out the window and run as fast as I could the whole time.

The day before the race was actually quite relaxing. Abbe and I went to the Met (I now live a stones throw from it) and checked out the Warhol exhibit. We hit the Member’s Lounge for a few drinks and then headed back to the apartment for a nice home cooked race meal. In bed by 11! “Baker, good god man why so late?” The race started at 10:30, who ever heard of that?

RACE DAY

I had a strange dream about my father during the night that was really vivid. He ‘visited me’ and brought me a keepsake. It kind of affected m a lot and I decided to hone in on it while racing.

Had some coffee and really just counted down the hours until I had to leave! Abbe left earlier as she was volunteering. You can read all about her wild experience here.

A quick 10 minute jog got me over to the Start Corrals. I saw Erica Sara finishing up her 20 miler and ran with her for a hot second.

Up in my corral I didn’t see (for the first time in awhile) any of my Blue Corral buds. I later found out Antonio was hiding in it somewhere.

The usual suspects spoke… National Anthem… race route instructions… THE GUN.

I never know how a race is going to go until I start running (or swimming if we are referring to a Tri.) Immediately I felt as if I ran hard the day before. My legs, although moving at a good pace now, felt exhausted.

We hit Mile 1 at 5:45. What did I tell you my plan was? That’s right, run hellfire speed the whole time and I seemed to be holding up to it. In my mind thought I was like, “Man, this hurts bad. Maybe this isn’t such a great idea. Remember that easy long run we did last weekend at a 7 minute pace, let’s do that!”

Unfortunately, my legs didn’t listen. They can be stubborn. I was already tired by the time we hit Tavern on the Green (the Finish) and was like, “OH, now we have only 2 laps to do.” I kinda wanted to come up with a reason to DNF since my heart was on fire and I was super hot, and yet, I just kept running.

Oh, I forgot to tell you. I intentionally did not wear a Garmin. I wanted to try and get in tune with my heart and not just numbers.

I saw my friend Elizabeth at Mile 4ish who’s cheering gave me a boost.

By the time Harlem Hill was approaching we had formed a single line of runners, spaced out 10 meters each. A few of us started leapfrogging, but we were all holding the same pace so no one gained. It was at this point I started running ‘boy, girl, boy (me), girl’ with a few legit competitors. We would run the entire rest of the race together! That’s 9 miles of us all in formation, each of us taking turns leading.

Harlem Hill kicked my ass. Oh, and we had to run it one more time, awesome!

Climbing the east side of it I saw Jim from ‘Dad Posse’ who gave me a good cheer!

As our line barreled down the East Side we played the tangents. Well, we played them until I saw Course Marshall Abbe at which point I veered over to give her a high five. I tried to think of something more entertaining to do, like tackle her into the bushes, but I was exhausted.

Then, we saw Ed from ‘Dad Posse’ who gave me a cheer. I wondered if they both knew each other were in the Park running?

After we crossed the Start area I switched on some much needed music. Based on my calculations we were running right around a 6 minute pace. I was happy with this but knew we would slow down, this being the half way point in the race.

Right around Mile 8 or 9 I noticed that I felt pretty good! So weird. I was still tired, but I was running happy and knew I would finish.

I saw Sebastien cheering on the sidelines who gave me a boost.

Our pace team, led by a tall brunette with a grey sports bra, a CPTC guy, me, and a brunette in a pink hat and shades, were now attacking Harlem Hill for the second time. We hit it pretty hard and showed no mercy. I was happy to hit the apex. (ohhh good word.) Barreling down the descent I saw Josh on my left cheering us on. I yelled, “Josh baby, what’s popping?!” I seemed to be in a cheerful mood, maybe because I had 3 miles to go.

By now we had started lapping other runners and it was no longer possible to hit the tangents, having to run wide left. We would no longer be able to get to the aid stations unless willing to risk serious time loss.

Passing Abbe again I gave her yet another high five. Then I saw Sebastien again (who had crossed the Park). I love seeing all the Runner Army out there support each other. Times like this make me happy to be a part of the local running community.

I hit Mile 11 at roughly 1:06 and change. I tacked 14 conservative minutes onto that and calculated that, yes, I might PR. I ‘thought’ my PR was 1:20:21, so that was the time I aimed for.

It got real crowded the last 2 miles and I was just trying to make it around the other runners without slamming into them. I was really excited to PR and was trying to keep pace up.

As the last mile hit I came upon and Urban Athletics runner going my pace. “Hey Chris!” he said. I evidently knew this person but had a hard time putting a face to a name until someone yelled out, “Go KB!” Beganics, of course! We chatted briefly before reeling in the last 400 Meters. The clock said 1:20 flat and knowing I could never PR at that rate I didn’t punch it. In reality, my PR was 1:20:48 and I probably should have blasted ahead. Way to do your pre race homework Baker.

Truly exhausted.

I finished in 1:20:53 and you know what, I’m so happy with the time! I raced without a Garmin and was a few seconds from a Half Mary PR, one that I set in 2010 in fact!

Sex/
Age
Bib Overall Place Age
Place
Finish
Time
Pace/
Mile
AG %
M34 132 83 17 1:20:53 6:10 73.5%

 I have no idea what I was doing at the end… waving at the crowd? 

 

13. Grete Waitz Half

Fall in New York… Run.

Posted on October 2, 2012 by admin Posted in All, Fitness, Training: Running 3 Comments

This weekend (for me) was not the end of Summer, but the start of what looks to be an amazing Fall.

I had a manly steak dinner with my second youngest brother Jeff Friday night at Keen’s Steakhouse, one of the oldest in New York City. In fact, it has Peter Luger’s beat by merely one year. He is getting married this weekend so I was just making sure he didn’t have cold feet. Kidding…

Saturday morning I rode my bike up to 168th and Broadway where I met Josh (aka Speedy Sasquatch) and his crew. He was hosting a 20 mile training run in the Pallisades, the same Pallisades where the Ironman run took place, and needed bike support.  It turns out my friend Allen was biking too so we got to hang out all morning and catch up!

We had a blast riding up and down the Pallisades handing out water to the 15 or so runners. They were a great group and all of them are gong to kill the NYC Mary! Here a few shots of the gang as they ran. Nice to meet all of you!

I was secretly jealous that I wasn’t running.

So, Sunday morning I set out on a long run. My goal was to just maintain a 150 heart rate and see where that leads. It was gorgeous out and I was really having a blast. Around the Park and down the West Side path to the Battery. Even ran (ha!) into my friend Sebastien doing his long run. I haven’t ran further than 14 miles since Ironman in August and the NYC Mary is like 6 weeks away or something so this was a necessary workout. I was so thrilled because I ran 7:30’s flat with a 150 heart rate! I used to be more of an 8:00-7:50 per mile with a 150 heart rate, which means I am improving overall! Thanks Coach, it worked!

I bumped into Erica Sara at the end of my run and had a fun chat before realizing I was late for brunch at the Waldorf!

Booked it home and had 15 minutes to shower and get dressed to make the brunch. Did I pull it off? Hell yes! I even dressed in a suit.

Fall is here and with it, Marathon season!

Fall Running Waldorf

‘Death Day’ Commentary

Posted on September 9, 2012 by admin Posted in All, Fitness, Training: Cycling 6 Comments

Today, as I was walking up Park Avenue running errands I saw a woman riding her bike with one hand, on the phone and helmet-less. Never mind the fact that she was in a dress, which both irritates me due to safety and makes me stare in wonder at the fabulous fashion statement.

It reminded me of a time in my life that I rode recklessly. There was one day in particular where I should not have lived to see another. I call this day ‘Death Day’ in a sort of humorous way to remember the experience.

—

July 21, 2007

I awoke to an incessant ringing at 7 in the morning. It was my cell phone and I was not pleased. I had been out the night before and my head was very foggy. I had not yet started down the path of running or triathlon, my lifestyle was different and this was considered early.

It was a friend who convinced me to go bike riding with him even though I tried to resist. He was going through a rough patch and so I said “What the hell.” I did, after all, love biking.

I jumped into some track pants and a white tank top after slamming a cup of Bustelo. I grabbed Athena, my trusty track bike (the same one I ride today in fact) and blasted out the door. Remember, she has no brakes and due to it being a fixed gear, it cannot coast. It is the oldest and purest form of bike riding.

Crushing it down 9th Avenue while the Drum-n-Bass was blasting in my iPod, I had not a care in the world and my hangover was quickly dissipating.

I banged a left on Houston and was probably riding 25MPH. As I neared the intersection of 1st Avenue and Essex Street a few minutes later a car in the opposite bound lane made a left turn in front of me, cutting me off. This is a common occurrence in NYC and my mind quickly went over the 2 options I had… skid stop or veer behind the car continuing on. I chose the latter.

In a left, then hard right evasive maneuver I swung around the car but to my surprise they were being tailgated by a white Ford Expedition and they intended to make the light as well. I hit the SUV head on, flew onto the windshield and rolled off the back of the car.

When I awoke seconds later everything was quiet. I jumped up and a girl who had come to my aid told me to sit back down. I said, “Where is my iPod and sunglasses?” She returned them to me after collecting them off the ground. The entire flow of traffic was halted East to West and North to South in ‘the Nexus of the Universe.’ The white Suv was stopped and I heard someone get on the phone to call an ambulance. Seconds later I literally heard the siren click on a few blocks away.

Once the ambulance arrived two young, very New York, EMT’s came over. “Hey buddy, how we doing.” “I’m okay.” I replied as I jumped up. “Whoa, whoa, seriously, are you hurt?” I touched my face and head, my ribs, my legs… everything was there. I hadn’t realized the magnitude of the situation. “We want to check you out in the ambulance okay?”

Walking around now, I saw that there were police questioning the driver and maintaining order. As I climbed into the back they were kinda chuckling at me. “Okay, where do you live? What’s your social? How many fingers am I holding up?” were just a few of the Twenty Questions that occurred. I had a question of my own. “Hey, where is my bike!” “Don’t worry, it’s fine, it’s leaning against the ambulance.” Whew!

“You, my friend are quite lucky to be unscathed. What would you like to do?” “Well, I’m a bit shook up, can you guys give me a ride home?” In a roar of laughter they said, “No sorry man, we don’t do drop off service. How about you come to Bellevue Hospital and get checked by a Doctor just to be safe?” I agreed and they pulled my bike into the back. It wasn’t even dented. Tires were fine. Strange indeed.

They were whispering to each other and then turned to me and said, “Come here, before we go we want you to see something.” They walked me out to the front of the white SUV. “Damn!” I gasped. The entire front windshield was collapsed and shattered. There was a baseball sized hole in the passenger side of the windshield. I said, “My handlebars, right!” One of the EMTs touched my right cheekbone and it hurt. “Your face. It was your face that punctured the windshield buddy. Like I said, you’re lucky.”

Back in the ambulance they told me that I had to be strapped down. Whatever. I asked for my cellphone so I could take a picture. They got a kick out of this as well.

One drawback was that technically, since I was okay and it wasn’t an emergency they wouldn’t put the sirens on for me. Lame.

As I was wheeled into Bellevue on the gurney, my bike was being wheeled in as well. We stopped at one point and I could hear the nearby Doctors talking about my bike and how gorgeous the frame was. Damn straight, it’s vintage!

They put me in a giant square room with many other patients waiting on beds, each of us in our own nook facing each other. Soon, a Doctor came over and gave me the riot act about not wearing a helmet. Then, he poked and prodded all over. He pushed his hands into my lung cavities and pushed my head this way and that, you know, Doctor stuff. He shuffled off.

Soon after, he returned with another Doctor. He explained to the other Doctor that he could find nothing wrong with me and wanted a second opinion. This new chap did a lot of what the other did and also had a few new tricks up his sleeve. As long as there weren’t needles involved I was game.

Finally, they told me I was free to go. “Do you want anything for the subtle pain you might have where your cheek hit the window?” “Certainly!” He then wrote me a prescription for extra strength Aleve and walked away. I felt lame because I had just been prescribed high powered aspirin.

I grabbed Athena and walked out of Bellevue. In doing so numerous police yelled at me and each time I had to explain that I was hit by a car.

Out on the streets again, I looked up 1st Avenue, jumped on my bike and rode home. I celebrated my survival with a few beers on my roof that afternoon.

—

I now wear a helmet every time I bike, even though only my cheek bone was bruised.

I also never take life for granted. Go out and live.

 

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